ENTER THICKNESSE

by Alas Earwax! feat. Ludo Badd Man

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about

Inspired by the Potterless podcast episode #66: Deathly Hallows (Ch. 13), and the illustrious (infamous) career of Mr Pius Thicknesse.

lyrics

ENTER THICKNESSE!
Thicknesse, Thicknesse, can I get a witness?
Lemme hit you with this verse like a hit list
Spit this terse little curse, gonna get this
Nat. 20, that’s right, I crit this
Brit don’t quit. (What?)
Brit don’t quit (What?)
Brit don’t quit (Who?)

ENTER THICKNESSE!
I’m Pius, righteous, unbiased.
Bribes can’t buy us, best not try us
Curse unforgivable? Land you in Azkaban
I’m in command, got the law of the land in my hand
Don’t test me, you’ll come out the worser
Number one magical law enforcer
You’re gonna be beggin’ me, “Stop, no more sir.”
I’m gonna be runnin’ the show for sure, so--

(IMPERIO!)

Dang.

RE-ENTER THICKNESSE!
Pius, sky is the limit, like
Gaius Julius Ceasar, one minute I’m
Just a department head,
Now it’s “Yes, minister,”
Scrimgeor’s out, now it’s me, nothing sinister
About it, be careful, stay on the right side,
“You have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide.” (Ha!)

ENTER YAXLEY!
Yaxley, That’s me, need to be reminded?
Ask me (Who’s he?), I’m the one behind it
Backed the attack, I refined and designed it
Stuck in a pickle now, it’s me that brined it
Have I impressed you?
Now I’ve possessed you?
Knock knock, a-guess who?
Me! I’m the best you!
If I had to pick, this
Is my best trick, it’s
Better than Christmas

ENTER THICKNESSE!

I wish I could shake this curse
Best case: walk away, next case: in a hearse
Worst case is a body and mind coerced
To oppose everything I’ve believed from the first
Yaxley hacks me, strung up like a puppet
Plays me like I was a sax or a trumpet
Can’t stop, (Won’t stop), me oh my
(When I say jump), I say how high?

Dang.

EXIT THICKNESSE!

credits

released February 25, 2019
LUDO BADD MAN (Mike from Potterless) ~ vocals
MR EARWAX! ~ writing, programing, vocals

Track samples and inspiration: Potterless episode #66: Deathly Hallows (Ch. 13)

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Alas Earwax! Seattle, Washington

Alas Earwax! is a wizard rock band from the late 2000s.

Sometimes silly, sometimes snarky, always Ravenclaw.

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